Switzerland: The Art of Bullshitting

I sat at the WHO Bulletin Meeting with 4 men and women who work at WHO and who have degrees in research design. We were deciding whether to accept or reject articles that were submitted to the Bulletin. We were currently looking at an article written by MDs and PhDs from Harvard. I was observing the meeting as an intern until I heard, “Well Liz, what do you think?” I momentarily froze. I wanted to tell them I was just a little guy with little to no knowledge on the subject. Who was I to critique and study written by Harvard professors? …Or to open my mouth about research methods around the world’s experts? Instead, I spurted out, “Well, I think the study was methodologically weak since the utilization of a case-control study does not provide the necessary data needed to test their hypothesis. Additionally, incorporating the survey into the appendix would increase transparency as well as clear-up many of my questions and concerns about the research instruments and the validity of the independent variables.” I have no idea what the hell I just said. But I looked around to nodding, smiling faces. For what might be close to the first time in my life, I successfully bullshitted.

I’ve always be enthralled by bullshitters- and tricked by them too. They seem so smart. I, on the other hand, would say “I’m not sure,” or “I have nothing to add” unless I thought of something new and was greater than 75% certain I was correct. A year of pretending to be a doctor (Yeah, for sure I feel the patient’s femoral pulse. Of course I hear that heart murmur..… uhh…) really gave me bullshitting confidence. It took me 25 years to learn (while I realize it takes most other people 5 maybe 10 years to learn) that to be successful as a bullshitter, all you have to do is follow this equation. Listen carefully+ think a tiny, teeny bit+ reword what the experts just said+ add a little zest= BING!