My Favorite Elderly Patient

At clinic interviewing a 91-year-old woman:

Old lady: What type of medicine do you want to practice?
Me: Right now I'm thinking either pediatrics or ob/gyn
Old lady: So, you've ruled out those annoying men, eh? Right on, girlfriend.
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Old lady: I have so much pain in my abdomen
Me: You do have some concerning signs on your exam, so the doctor wants to do some further testing. 
Old lady: Oh god, please don't tell me I'm pregnant!? 
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Going through her medications and past medical history
Old Lady: You could write a book about me and all my medical problems. 
Me: I think I'm going to! I'll give you half the profits. 
Old Lady: We're going to make millions. 
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Me: I love taking care of you. You're pretty funny. 
Old Lady: I would say I'd send you the bill, but you're lucky that these jokes are free. I'm generous like that. 
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Best. Patient. Ever.