Finding a boyfriend is awfully challenging. Recently, it seems like finding someone with whom I have great chemistry is nearly impossible. I sometimes feel like I’m on that old TV show
called “Next!” I go out on a date and just want to say, “Next, please!” And
the times I want to say, “Ok, you can stay” they are simultaneously saying, “Next!”
Someday, perhaps, the stars will align.
I’ve been on a bunch of unsuccessful dates lately. From the
rich doctor who was so into himself he seemed to forget I existed. Or the guy
who talked about his car like it was as precious as a small child. Or the super hot and successful guy who found anything that resembled commitment to be scarier than a haunted house. I’ve analyzed why I wasn’t interested in dating
these men, and while there are various reasons I’ve found one strong factor
that they all have in common: a full head of hair.
Now if you know me well, you’ll know I have a slight
inclination towards dating prematurely balding men. Some of you (ok, all of
you) think this is a little weird. But, humor me, while I list reasons why they
are indeed the best type of men to date.
In general, prematurely balding men are super attractive,
but just don’t know it. Losing hair early can be a little traumatic to
young men and they have the potential to lose a small amount of confidence in their
physical beauty. This creates the desired characteristic of being slightly
humbled. And then, they struggle, and finally decide to shave off all their
hair. In addition to be extremely sexy, a shaved head is an outward sign of
embracing life’s challenges and making the best out of what they are given.
Humble and able to conquer adversity. I’m also convinced that prematurely
balding men have more testosterone. (Testosterone, well actually dihydrotestosterone, is one mechanism that can
lead to hair loss.) They are therefore just exude MANLINESS. Plus, their head just feels awesome.
I meet about half the guys I go out on dates with randomly.
The other half I meet on an online dating site. Since dating men with a full
head of hair has been problematic to me recently, I decided to do a search for “bald”
men on said dating site. Low and behold I found a handful of sexy, successful
and interesting bald men. I have four dates lined up in the coming week.
So wish me luck, friends, as I solve the problems associated
with man hair and spend the week dating this rare and often under-appreciated breed of men! Amen.
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